No, you wanted me to say that my skin started glowing, my confidence skyrocketed, and I had the oh-so-common epiphany that social media was ruining my life. False. What I actually gained was clarity on my body, my needs, and the frightening truth that I genuinely don’t care what I look like anymore.

I love makeup. I love dyeing my curls honey blonde every two months. But trends kept whispering: “Sculpt your nose. Lift your eyes. Wear this.” I chased features I didn’t have. And while my self-esteem stayed intact, my blush placement absolutely did not (newsflash: clowncore is not for everyone).

For the past two years, I’ve been in and out of hospitals. By the end of sophomore year, I landed in the ER. I stopped caring if my lipliner was blended or if my beat-up boots matched the hoodie I wore like armor to class. My body was breaking down, and so was the façade. Bye-bye haircare. Bye-bye Urban Decay.

Usually, summer is when I thrive: glowy skin, small waist, birthday season energy. But this time, after a trip across the country with my boyfriend, I looked, and felt, the worst I ever had. Another ER visit. No glow in sight.

So I cut the noise. No more social media trends. No more “sponsored” anything. Instead, I took myself to the flea market and bought clothes I would’ve loved at age five. I stared at my face for way too long in the mirror, shaping my makeup to where the shadows hit my face, not where someone with a slim face and oval face told me to contour. I wore blush as eyeshadow. Purple lipstick for no reason. Stopped dyeing my hair (even though I might go back, don’t fight me). I started getting plain nails again. Ugly jewelry that makes no sense. Earrings shaped like bugs. Random Y2K pieces I’d never wear at my college.

And while I stopped watching social media, I started watching my body. It bloats when I scroll for too long. It hurts when I eat protein. It’s breaking out enough to host a Tic-Tac-Toe tournament. But instead of hiding, I started listening. I bought skincare for my skin. I ditched lash extensions that leave bald spots and opted for cheap strip lashes. I stopped working out for a big butt. I like cardio. I like having a small bum.

Trends can be fun. They teach you, they inspire you. But stepping away teaches you what you like before algorithms get a say. And everything you think you need to change about yourself? It’s probably just your uniqueness being gaslit by the For You page.

I gained some weight and my skin’s still healing. But I’m finally seeing just my features, and I’ve never cared less about how I look because I’ve never known myself more.

Grains and Carbs:

• Quinoa: A protein-packed alternative to rice.
• Cauliflower Rice: A low-carb substitute for traditional rice.
• Whole Wheat Pasta: A higher-fiber option to traditional pasta.

Proteins:

• Plant-Based Protein: Incorporate lentils, chickpeas, and tofu as alternatives to meat.
• Fish: Choose locally sourced, a more sustainable option.
• Grass-Fed Beef: If you prefer meat, opt for grass-fed beef.

Dairy:

Almond Milk: A popular dairy milk alternative.

Snacks:

• Nuts and Seeds: Almonds, walnuts, and chia seeds are great alternatives to your average chips and crackers.
• Whole-Grain Popcorn: A whole-grain, low-calorie alternative to buttered popcorn.

Cooking Oils:

• Olive Oil: A heart-healthy oil for cooking.
• Avocado Oil: Suitable for higher heat cooking.

Fruits and Vegetables:

• Local Produce: Support local farmers and buy some fresh produce.
• Organic Options: Opt for organic fruits and vegetables when possible to reduce exposure to pesticides.

Beverages:

• Herbal Teas: Try caffeine-free options like chamomile, peppermint, and hibiscus.
• Sparkling Water: Opt for sparkling water instead of sugary sodas.

Start small, experiment with new flavors, and enjoy the journey to a healthier and more sustainable lifestyle.

We posted a poll on our Instagram @livingbybellaco, asking what your main focus was this summer: The top result was focusing on your fitness journey. So of course, we created 5 ways to own your fitness journey this summer.

1. Set Realistic Goals: Are you aiming to increase strength, endurance, or achieve a specific milestone (such as conquering 3 miles on the stair master—a remarkable feat, if you ask me)? Your goal should be precise and measurable so you can truly track your progress.
2. The Habit: Treat your fitness journey as an essential part of your schedule. Just like you prioritize your work and other commitments, carve out time for exercise. Treat is as a non-negotiable appointment, so you’ll ensure consistent progress.
3. Go Crazy: You don’t have to just hit the gym: Consider dancing, yoga, weightlifting, martial arts, or any other form of exercise. Join group fitness classes, find workout buddies, or engage with online fitness communities. Trying a variety of ways to stay active will make your fitness journey feel less like a chore, and more like fun.
4. Put Yourself First: Fitness goes beyond exercise. Sleep, diet, and stress play a big role in affecting your health and energy. Taking care of yourself first is necessary, and by doing so, you’ll likely hit your fitness goals much faster.
5. Embrace the Journey, Not Just the Destination: View your fitness journey as a continuous process of growth and self-improvement. Focus on the habits and positive changes you’re making along the way, rather than solely fixating on the end result. Remember, true empowerment lies in the person you become throughout the journey.